Well Deserved Rant

Rosh Hashanah is coming to a close, and my stomach has never been more full. While digesting all this food and surfing the net a few minutes ago, I found out that Katie Holmes is pregnant with Tom's demon seed. Now normally I don't report this kind of trash, but I felt the need to assert my opinion on the matter. Is it chic now for all these celebrities to get knocked up? I'm not of the belief that this move is helping their careers. In fact, just the opposite. All these gossip-column-readers want to fantasize about these girls, not watch some scientology (the word does not deserve initial caps because it's a cult) freakazoid impregnate them.

Watch Dane Cook's impression of Cruise on Oprah.