superlertive: 04/01/2005

(Not Seeing A) Clear Channel

Clear Channel reported a seismic drop in earnings of over 50% in the first quarter! Somebody somewhere is doing their job right. Let's hope this spells the beginning of a successful deterioration in media conglomerates. Beware Ticketmaster, you're now on deck. There's no excuse this time. Pearl Jam should've finished you off ten years ago.

Abercrombie Rock Courts Hip Hop

John Mayer may alienate some of his most beloved Abercrombie-wearing high school fanbase as he flirts with hip hop:

"My next single is gonna be a cover of Lil Jon, 'From the
window to the wall,'" Mayer said with tongue-in-cheek,
referring to the rapper's hit "Get Low."

Work oh his next record is a slow go as he is now collaborating with Kanye West. Still no word on whether West will return the favor. I'll keep my fingers crossed and secretly pray that he flops out of the mainstream.

Cruise and Holmes Sitting in a Tree...

There's been a new face playing around in Dawson's creek recently. And it's not Rebecca De Mornay. You heard it. Actress Katie Holmes is now dating actor and famous relationship hound Tom Cruise. With his libido, they'll probably be married with kids by the end of the year. I guess sometimes you just gotta say "what the fuck, and make your move".

Rest Easy Maiden Fans

Fans that wanted to catch Iron Maiden on the final 7 dates of Ozzfest should worry no more. In their stead, supergroup Velvet Revolver will be tearing up the stage.

"Velvet Revolver will take over for Iron Maiden on the Ozzfest main stage from
August 23 in New Mexico through September 4, when the tour wraps up in West
Palm Beach, Florida. Ozzfest 2005, which also features Rob Zombie, Killswitch Engage,
As I Lay Dying and Mastodon, kicks off on July 15 at the Tweeter Center in
Mansfield, Massachusetts. "

In all honesty, I prefer VR over Maiden any day.

Governator on Stern

Dawn Gibson was fuming when she heard Gov. Schwaz's apparrent sexism on the Howard Stern Show April 24. Can I just say something to this Dawn? You shouldn't be listening to the show if you are surprised by something like this. Listeners know to take much of what is said on the show with a grain of salt.

New Audioslave

The next single off Audioslave's second effort, Out of Exile, is set to be released next Tuesday (May 3). Fans can be the first to hear the track through a really cool marketing campaign. Note: the link goes live tomorrow morning at 6 am.

Seeing them at Roseland Ballroom in NYC this weekend. Should be spectacular.

The New Coldplay

After hearing the first single off X&Y, I am a little nervous about the latest output from Coldplay. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself more than just an acquaintance of their music. However, in my humble opinion, the opening lick on "Speed of Sound" is almost identical to that of "Clocks." All cynicism aside, I am still anxious to see what other songs are on the upcoming album.

It's Ok. She's Anti-Ashlee Now.

Kelly Osbourne is now out of rehab, praise the lord. Does anyone really care? Either way, you shouldn't rush to your local record store for her latest release. The only thing worse than listening to her sing is listening to William Hung sing christmas carols on Hung for the Holidays. However, between the two, I'd choose Hung over Osbourne any day because Kelly actually thinks she's a good singer, whereas Hung acknowledges he's just a joke.

Trading the Jack for Manischewitz

VH1 Classic grabbed some washed up Eighties headbangers and seated them together at the Passover Seder table. Pretty whacky idea, huh! You can see Dee Snider & Jay Jay French (Twisted Sister), Scott Ian (Anthrax), and Leslie West (Mountain) this Sunday night at 7 PM. Be sure to Tivo it because you'll probably be at a seder of your own. Tune in to see if

Lollapalooza

Lollapalooza's one-stop festival in Chicago has a set list sure to give any hardcore music fan an orgasm. Pixies and Weezer are the bigger acts, supported by indie favorites The Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, Death Cab for Cutie, and others.

It's only typical that after last summer's cancellation, the concert series comes back for a single blowout show, leaving many fans in the dust. Please come to New York.

Franz Ferdinand Follow-Up

Can this indie/retro-rock outfit outlive the sophomore slump that plagues so many hopeful bands? I guess we must wait until the end of the year to find out. In the meantime, you can hear their oversaturated, but great, self-titled debut playing on all rock radio formats ad nauseum.

Beanery Now in the Biz

In this day and age the culture of corporate coffee houses is starting to corner the market on the fledgling music business. Starbucks, the ubiquitous corner occupier, is now competing with long-established record stores.

The corporation is assuming the identity of an independent label, releasing a unique brand of pop music. Starbucks single-handedly put Ray Charles' last album, Genius Loves Company, in the top ten. The ironic piece of the story is that the coffee shop is a multi-billion dollar operation trying to achieve hipster status; a return to folk music.

This Seems to Happen Every Few Years...

After nearly 40 years, rare footage from the "Magical Mystery Tour" days was recently unearthed. Found while transferring old reel tapes to digital format, the video was apparently part of the uncut original film. No word on whether the film will be accessible to public view.

It seems like every few years, more and more never-before-seen Beatles photos, valued vinyl, or archival footage is "unearthed." People just don't realize they have these treasures until they clean out attics, basements and garages. It's great publicity for the band, albeit unnecessary, as their legacy will never be forgotten. There will never be another band to rival The Beatles. RIP George, John.

New Foo's

Let the countdown for In Your Honor begin now. Dave Grohl stacks his legacy in with Zeppelin. He is forgiven for taking a bold step because 1/4 of Zeppelin plays keys on one of the tracks.

The album is due out June 14 (RCA) and will be a double disc set.

Read on.

A Bootlegging Bill Hits the Floor

Think what you want about the morality of file sharing, but everyone does it. Even the most honest of people claiming they never download can be caught swapping a tune here or there. It's addicting, like the worst of drugs.

But downloaders should be a little more worried (or cautious) now. The House of Representatives passed a bill that harshly penalizes people for downloading movies or music prior to release. That's right, once signed into law, your file-swapping friend across the street might be victim to $250,000 fine and up to 5 years jail time.

Washed Up?

Last month, Billboard reported that Alanis is scheduled to re-release the 90's classic "Jagged Little Pill." Now she's set to go on tour to promote the latest effort. Dare I ask where her career went?

She was at the top of her game, with an intensity not matched since. Each song on that album was great and unique in its own way. And you couldn't escape their ubiquitous presence on radio everywhere. I guess she finally came to the realization that her career has washed up and is kicking herself in the pants. Either way, I think she might be over-the-hill in terms of making great music again.

Personalize NIN

IMG allmusic

Now the biggest NIN fans can LEGALLY create their own mixes of Trent's songs. And that's exactly what he wants you to do:

"For quite some time I've been interested in the idea of allowing you the ability to tinker around with my tracks - to create remixes, experiment, embellish or destroy what's there...“What I'm giving you in this file is the actual multi-track audio session for ‘the hand that feeds’ in GarageBand format. This is the entire thing bounced over from the actual Pro Tools session we recorded it into..."

I get the feeling that this idea will contribute to further piracy and copyright infringement. Now millions of people will come up with unique mixes that can potentially find their way onto kazaa and limewire for more people to download. It's great that Trent is shrinking the gap between fan and performer, but he better understand that it might translate to less royalty money in the future.

Wedding Singer on Stage

You got it kiddies. The Eighties throwback movie starring Mr. Sandler is headed to Broadway. All I have to say is good luck adapting that to stage. In any event, don't Broadway shows eventually become movies and not vice versa? You'll catch me watching the performance on its intended format, the television screen.

Frieken Sweet

IMG from Planet Family Guy

Get pumpeed everyone! Peter Griffin and his rag-tag family of idiots is finally back after a three year hiatus. New season of Family Guy starts on May 1. Let's just hope Seth McFarlane can deliver on the underground hype that has surrounded the show since its cancellation. Is Stewie gay? Will Chris finally face the monkey that stalks him?

True Slice of Americana

You aren't a true patriot until you sit and listen to this. No cheating allowed. You must watch the whole thing. It's great. With the new royalty money he makes, i think braces or some dental reconstruction should be considered. Thanks Witz.

The State of Radio

You listen to the radio and and can pretty much expect was is gonna be played. I live in NY and the only decent radio station for new music is KROCK, which coincidentally, just changed formats. I came across a really cool blurb in an email radio playlist to which I subscribe from John in the Morning on KEXP. It reads as follows:

"John,

While you've been prancing around New York City with your big fancy radio show,
some of us have been commuting to corporate hell trying to find something on
the radio that doesn't make us want to drive nails into our craniums.

You’ve probably heard as often as I have that the record industry consistently
blames file sharing for the downturn in overall music sales. Here’s a newsflash
for them: people aren’t buying records because radio blows. It’s that simple.
Am I the only one that recognizes this? Simply put, if you have the ability to
legally operate an automobile, you’re not part of the radio equation. The dial
is catered to those who consider the Olsen twins icons.

I’ve got another newsflash for the music industry: heavy rotation doesn’t work.
Sure, impressionable youngsters want to hear the exact same songs over and
over. Hell, my 3 year old wants to hear “Who Let The Dogs Out” twelve times a
day, but they don’t cater every radio station in the country to mirror his
taste. Not yet anyway.

Here in DC, the once great but recently horrible WHFS went down and there’s one
“alternative” radio station left in town. It’s called DC101. It sucks so bad
that it makes my hair hurt. Sometimes on the way to work, I force myself to
listen to it for about 20 minutes because I guess I’m masochistic or something.
They have this prick named “Elliott” do the morning show. Needless to say, it’s
very popular. Let me sum up his show for you. The other day Elliott fields a
call from some white trash chick from West Virginia who wants to give her
sister “a shout out” because she’s in the hospital. For Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Hilarity ensues. Ahhhhh, menstruation. There’s nothing funnier. This turns into
at least an hour of phone calls from women describing their monthly friend in
graphic detail combined with witty remarks from Elliott that would make a
sixth-grader wince. This is what big city, drive time radio has become. It’s
amazing.

And then there’s the music. Here’s the current playlist on DC101. I had to
double check because I was assuming there must be some kind of mistake. After
all, 90% of these songs are at least a year old, some of them were released
more than two years ago. But this is it. Dated April, 2005:

Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out
Crossfade - Cold
The Killers – Somebody Told Me
Green Day – American Idiot
Green Day – Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
Breaking Benjamin – So Cold
3 Doors Down – Let Me Go
Jimmy Eat World - Pain
The White Stripes – 7 Nation Army
Modest Mouse – Float On
Jet – Cold Hearted Bitch
Jet – Are You Gonna Be My Girl
Sum 41 – Pieces
Tony C and the Truth – Little Bit More
Queens of the Stone Age – Little Sister

That’s it. I’m not kidding. Their playlist is 14 songs long. Two bands have two
songs. 7 Nation Army?! Literally, that song came out in April, 2003. Float On?
How daring. Take Me Out? Ditto. I mean I like Franz, Modest Mouse and the
Killers, but if heard one of their songs 6-10 times a day for over two years, I
think I'd try and assassinate them. And you caught me, I have no idea who
Crossfade, Tony C and the Truth or Breaking Benjamin are, but it’s safe to
assume that they suck. After all, they’re on this list. What's really amazing
is they still call this “alternative” radio. No wonder why I hate every kid
under 25 who talks to me when I DJ.

Got to go, John. I’m getting my tickets for the DC101 Chili Cook-Off 2005
featuring Chevelle and Papa Roach. I’m gonna pour chili down my pants as a sign
of protest."