The State of Radio

You listen to the radio and and can pretty much expect was is gonna be played. I live in NY and the only decent radio station for new music is KROCK, which coincidentally, just changed formats. I came across a really cool blurb in an email radio playlist to which I subscribe from John in the Morning on KEXP. It reads as follows:

"John,

While you've been prancing around New York City with your big fancy radio show,
some of us have been commuting to corporate hell trying to find something on
the radio that doesn't make us want to drive nails into our craniums.

You’ve probably heard as often as I have that the record industry consistently
blames file sharing for the downturn in overall music sales. Here’s a newsflash
for them: people aren’t buying records because radio blows. It’s that simple.
Am I the only one that recognizes this? Simply put, if you have the ability to
legally operate an automobile, you’re not part of the radio equation. The dial
is catered to those who consider the Olsen twins icons.

I’ve got another newsflash for the music industry: heavy rotation doesn’t work.
Sure, impressionable youngsters want to hear the exact same songs over and
over. Hell, my 3 year old wants to hear “Who Let The Dogs Out” twelve times a
day, but they don’t cater every radio station in the country to mirror his
taste. Not yet anyway.

Here in DC, the once great but recently horrible WHFS went down and there’s one
“alternative” radio station left in town. It’s called DC101. It sucks so bad
that it makes my hair hurt. Sometimes on the way to work, I force myself to
listen to it for about 20 minutes because I guess I’m masochistic or something.
They have this prick named “Elliott” do the morning show. Needless to say, it’s
very popular. Let me sum up his show for you. The other day Elliott fields a
call from some white trash chick from West Virginia who wants to give her
sister “a shout out” because she’s in the hospital. For Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Hilarity ensues. Ahhhhh, menstruation. There’s nothing funnier. This turns into
at least an hour of phone calls from women describing their monthly friend in
graphic detail combined with witty remarks from Elliott that would make a
sixth-grader wince. This is what big city, drive time radio has become. It’s
amazing.

And then there’s the music. Here’s the current playlist on DC101. I had to
double check because I was assuming there must be some kind of mistake. After
all, 90% of these songs are at least a year old, some of them were released
more than two years ago. But this is it. Dated April, 2005:

Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out
Crossfade - Cold
The Killers – Somebody Told Me
Green Day – American Idiot
Green Day – Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
Breaking Benjamin – So Cold
3 Doors Down – Let Me Go
Jimmy Eat World - Pain
The White Stripes – 7 Nation Army
Modest Mouse – Float On
Jet – Cold Hearted Bitch
Jet – Are You Gonna Be My Girl
Sum 41 – Pieces
Tony C and the Truth – Little Bit More
Queens of the Stone Age – Little Sister

That’s it. I’m not kidding. Their playlist is 14 songs long. Two bands have two
songs. 7 Nation Army?! Literally, that song came out in April, 2003. Float On?
How daring. Take Me Out? Ditto. I mean I like Franz, Modest Mouse and the
Killers, but if heard one of their songs 6-10 times a day for over two years, I
think I'd try and assassinate them. And you caught me, I have no idea who
Crossfade, Tony C and the Truth or Breaking Benjamin are, but it’s safe to
assume that they suck. After all, they’re on this list. What's really amazing
is they still call this “alternative” radio. No wonder why I hate every kid
under 25 who talks to me when I DJ.

Got to go, John. I’m getting my tickets for the DC101 Chili Cook-Off 2005
featuring Chevelle and Papa Roach. I’m gonna pour chili down my pants as a sign
of protest."