superlertive

No Excuse for My Absence

2007-01-04T21:03:00.000-05:00

I love U2, but is anyone else out there sick of hearing about U2? But more specifically Bono? Dude, get a new set of your old glasses, grow your hair long, and take lessons from your previous work in the early 90's. Oh, and it might be time to stop putting out albums. And please please stop playing halftime shows! If I see one more I may have to jump out a window.

Is Metallica Still Metal?

2006-12-09T15:17:00.000-05:00

It seems that Metallica has 25 songs in the hopper for their next release, which the band says will be slimmmed down considerably. Ever since Jason Newsted left the band, the group has completely lost direction. St. Anger and Some Kind of Monster were lessons not in evolution of sound, but of sonic compromise. Apparently, Lars was quoted as saying the new album will have much the same feel as Puppets. Of course he needs to say that to try and get the most hardcore fans back on his side. However, if they convincingly recreate the same vibe as on Puppets or Ride the Lightning, then I will jump back on board. But right now, I'm not too keen on them. Please Please come back!

The band also rekindled their interest in that sound because they played the album in its entirety at several European shows over the summer. "Having to deliver Master Of Puppets for three months this summer definitely revitalized some of that stuff in us," he added. "It's been kind of fun having that in the back of our mind." (via FMQB)

Music Map

2006-12-07T20:54:00.000-05:00

Holy shitballs!

I'm no Electronic music aficionado. But if you love music history and appreciate the interlocking puzzle piece history of each genre, then this is the perfect site for you. It's almost too easy to sit for hours jumping around styles and eras, with awesome music examples. Highly addictive. Highly interactive. Ergo, it makes the perfect procrastination tool at work. Highly recommended and extremely educational.

Go.

Metal by Numbers

2006-12-04T22:10:00.000-05:00

If the current state of metal has you choking yourself uncontrollably, then you will get some relief from this brilliant tongue-in-cheek video. It is aptly titled "Metal by Numbers." Sit through the whole thing, well worth 5 minutes of slacking..

Thoughts

2006-11-22T20:25:00.000-05:00

Hmm. The busiest travel day of the year, huh. People are such idiots sometimes, too often flocking like ignorant herds of sheep. Everyone knows today is pretty much the worst day to travel, especially flying. Yet, they will still book their tickets for the day before Thanksgiving. I don't understand. Why not just wait until early the next morning to travel? You'll sure as shit beat the traffic!

No appropriate segue to this, but it had to be presented. Before leaving work today, I was shown the mug of one Tony Ferrari. He is one creepy-looking motherfucker. Clear your mind for a moment and take a look at his cranium! Probably exacerbated by his doctors dropping him post-birth upon seeing his freakish nature. If his looks aren't enough to scare you, check out the mission statement on the website:

We are the Children of the Multiprismed Light and
we are here for you.
We're so glad you found us.
We've been waiting a long time.
We can promise you a cleaner, clearer, and more blissful way of life. Forget your troubles and unload your material trappings on our doorstep to join a family of love and understanding.

As a group, we are working together to form a new, more enlightened, way of living as the dawn of the 3rd millennium is upon us. Join us and eventually unfold the centuries old unspoken truths of our ancestors and how we are descended from majesty. Learn where we are going and how our new lives together will guide your ultimate destiny!!!

Fuckin weirdos man. I bet it's some kind of cult and they're all dead by the end of the year. Mark my words, damn it!

Apple Vs. Apple: A Struggle

2006-11-16T13:54:00.000-05:00

After two major repairs and a third in the hopper, Apple granted me a new replacement Macbook. It was not easy, however. It took a couple trips to the Apple store in SoHo and numerous arguments on the phone. My fights were well-warranted, considering the computer is less than 6 months old. The new computer is on its way, which explains sparse postings.

Speaking of Apples (nice transition, right?), Tuesday's release schedule includes Love, the new Beatles remix album sanctioned by the former members and estates. It's nice to hear some of these songs reinterpreted for a new audience. But for me it represents nothing more than a novelty record. This, however, won't stop it from hitting the top of the charts. Mark my words, it will be in the top 10 next week.

You can visit this site to hear samples of the "new" music.

(via Stereogum)

Axl and Crew Ditch

2006-11-11T19:24:00.000-05:00

And what else is new? Honestly. This time, the cause was an argument over state law in Maine forbidding alcoholic consumption on stage. Seems like the excuses for this band not to play always seem to be mounting. Kind of like the supposed release of Chinese Democracy.

Axl and company reportedly wanted to drink beer and wine during the performance. On Tuesday, the day after the canceled show, Axl himself posted a message online that reads, "I would like to apologize to all of the fans in Maine for the show not happening last night. It was important for us to play there and it is a shame that what should have been a great night for all of us was not possible due to the actions of two people [the fire marshals]. I agree with, and ultimately take responsibility for, the end decision not to jeopardize the safety of the fans, the crews, the bands and myself as a result of the methods of these particularly draconian authorities."

I don't know Axl, somehow I feel the fans won't forgive you for this one. Contrary to what you said, however, a great night was not possible because you always have some sort of problem with performing. Get over yourself already.

(via FMQB)

Vote

2006-11-07T09:40:00.001-05:00

Vote, Bitches...!

2006-11-06T09:54:00.001-05:00

Strange things are afoot at superlertive. I'm having some server issues and will return shortly.

Price is Wrong Bitch

2006-10-31T23:51:00.000-05:00

The ever-aging Bob Barker is finally calling it quits. Sick mornings will never be the same again. In all honesty, I thought the show has been in syndication for years. Guess I was wrong. That show will do well in reruns though. No matter how he is remembered, in my mind it doesn't get any better than his cameo in Happy Gilmore.

The silver-haired daytime-TV icon is retiring in June, he told The Associated Press on Tuesday.

"I will be 83 years old on December 12," he said, "and I've decided to retire while I'm still young."

He'll hang up his microphone after 35 years as the host of "The Price Is Right" and 50 years overall in television.

Though he has been considering retirement for "at least 10 years," Barker said he has so much fun doing the show that he hasn't been able to leave.

(via CNN)

New Old Nirvana

2006-10-28T17:12:00.000-04:00

In an effort to justify their place on the top dead-earners list, the Nirvana camp is re-releasing the VHS Live! Tonight! Sold Out! on DVD.

It seems like Nirvana releases something every couple years to try and stay relevant. But you know what? It's just not necessary. People aren't going to forget Nirvana overnight. Honestly, how many more box sets, best of the boxes and greatest hits CD's can you really do? Just ask the douchbags of Aerosmith, they'll tell you.

(via Pitchfork)

Album Art Wars

2006-10-26T22:20:00.000-04:00

If you still love to buy albums for the cover art and liner notes, this cartoon is for you...

Pixies

2006-10-24T23:30:00.000-04:00

Looks like the Pixies may finally put together a new record after 15 years.

"Since we got back together we've played almost everywhere we can," explained Black to the NME website. "I know we like playing and everyone likes touring together, so to keep doing that and not record anything is kind of like being a county fair band. We don't want to do that, so the only thing we can do is become a vital band again."

But also remember that old grudges die hard in the music biz, and the new record is a no-go without Kim Deal. So let's hope she pulls through on this.

"Black also revealed that a new Pixies disc is no deal without bassist Kim Deal: "We're rehearsing in January, if we can persuade Kim to come out of her house. We offered to go to her but we figured if we book the rehearsals she'll show up."

(via Pitchfork)

Dead Earners

2006-10-24T23:06:00.000-04:00

Why do dead celebs make more cash than me? Forbes recently published the top-earning dead celebs (via Forbes):

1. Kurt Cobain
2. Elvis Presley
3. Charles M. Schulz
4. John Lennon
5. Albert Einstein
6. Andy Warhol
7. Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel)
8. Ray Charles
9. Marilyn Monroe
10. Johnny Cash
11. J.R.R. Tolkien
12. George Harrison
13. Bob Marley

Two Beatles on the list - I'm content with that. But I'm actually surprised that Ray Charles is ranked higher than Johnny Cash. JC definitely gets more exposure. But then again, who am I to argue with the collossal Forbes.

superlertive Songs

2006-10-22T16:41:00.000-04:00

I recently started a podcast called superlertive Songs. It's essentially an aural extension of this blog - a short thematic mixtape as it were. At this point, my plan is to make the podcast a weekly series. But as my few readers know, I don't update my blog enough, so who's to say what will transpire with the podcast? Right now there are two episodes posted, with a third in the works. All comments and suggestion, including hate mail, are welcome.

You can visit my podcast page where you can listen to all past episodes - http://superlertive.podOmatic.com .

If you click on the iTunes podcast button to the right, you can subscribe to the RSS feed which will automatically download the latest episode to your iTunes. I am still working on have the show posted in the iTunes podcast database.

Everything is still a work in progress, so please bear with me.

One More Time

2006-10-16T22:20:00.000-04:00

One last video from last night's CB's performance, in which Patti explains her first time seeing Television live at the club. It's such a bittersweet feeling. I felt so sad when I walked by the club on the way to work this morning. I anticpate there being graffiti outside that real estate for the foreseeable future. CBGB will live on in name. Go easy, brother.

Go Easy, Brother

2006-10-16T10:03:00.000-04:00

Patti Smith last night, with special guests Richard Lloyd and Flea on bass.

AND THIS MORNING AT 9:30

Short video clips a bit later today...

Update: Here are some clips

3

Finally...

2006-10-15T15:36:00.000-04:00

I'm not always a huge fan of tribute albums. I don't know what it is, maybe I always just prefer the original. However, in the exception to the rule, I am really excited for this latest Beatles tribute album. It's called Butchering The Beatles where heavy metal's luminaries collaborate on some of the Fab Four's classics. I'm sold on Billy Idol doing "Tomorrow Never Knows". To be released Oct. 24 (via FMQB).

1. "Hey Bulldog" – Alice Cooper, vox; Steve Vai, guitars; Duff McKagen (Velvet Revolver / Guns N Roses), bass; Mikkey Dee (Motorhead), drums

2. "Back In The USSR" – Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead), vox/bass; John5 (Marilyn Manson / Rob Zombie), guitars; Eric Singer (KISS / Alice Cooper), drums

3. "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" – Geoff Tate (Queensryche), vox; Michael Wilton (Queensryche), guitar; Craig Goldy (Dio), guitar; Rudy Sarzo (Dio), bass; Simon Wright (Dio), drums; Scott Warren (Dio), keys

4. "Tomorrow Never Knows" – Billy Idol, vox; Steve Stevens (Billy Idol), guitars; Blasko (Ozzy Osbourne), bass; Brian Tichy (Billy Idol), drums

5. "Magical Mystery Tour" – Jeff Scott Soto (Yngwie Malmsteen / Soul Sirkus), vox; Yngwie Malmsteen (Rising Force / Alcatrazz), lead guitar; Bob Kulick, (Meat Loaf / Paul Stanley Band), rhythm guitar; Jeff Pilson (Dokken / Foreigner), bass; Frankie Banali (Wasp / Quiet Riot), drums

6. "Revolution" – Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top), vox / guitar; Vivian Campbell (Def Leppard), guitar; Mike Porcaro (Toto), bass; Gregg Bisonnette (David Lee Roth / Ringo Starr Band), drums; Joseph Fazzio (Superjoint Ritual), drums

7. "Day Tripper" – Jack Blades (Night Ranger / Damn Yankees), vox; Tommy Shaw (Styx / Damn Yankees), vox; Doug Aldrich (Whitesnake / Dio), guitars; Marco Mendoza (Whitesnake / Thin Lizzy), bass; Virgil Donati (Steve Vai / Soul Sirkus / Planet X), drums

8. "I Feel Fine" – John Bush (Anthrax), vox; Stephen Carpenter (Deftones), guitar; Mike Inez (Ozzy Osbourne / Alice In Chains), bass; John Tempesta (The Cult / Testament), drums

9. "Taxman" – Doug Pinnick (Kings X), vox; Steve Lukather (Toto), guitar; Tony Levin (John Lennon / Peter Gabriel), bass; Steve Ferrone (Eric Clapton / Tom Petty), drums

10. "I Saw Her Standing There" – John Corabi (Motley Crue), vox; Phil Campbell (Motorhead), guitar; C.C. Deville (Poison), guitar; Chris Chaney (Jane’s Addiction), bass; Kenny Aronoff (Smashing Pumpkins / Jon Bon Jovi), drums

11. "Hey Jude" – Tim “Ripper” Owens (Judas Priest / Iced Earth), vox; George Lynch (Dokken / Lynch Mob), guitar; Bob Kulick (Meat Loaf / Paul Stanley Band), rhythm guitar; Tim Bogert (Vanilla Fudge / Beck / Bogert & Appice), bass; Chris Slade (AC/DC), drums

12. "Drive My Car" – Kip Winger (Winger), vox; Bruce Kulick (KISS / Grand Funk), guitar; Tony Franklin (The Firm / Whitesnake), bass; Aynsley Dunbar (Whitesnake / Journey), drums

Super Soaker

2006-10-11T23:00:00.000-04:00

Yours truly got caught in a flash flood today, without umbrella. I was quite disappointed because I even looked at my umbrella before leaving this morning, thinking to myself that I would be in the clear. Alas, I came back from work drenched. Now the cynic in you is probably conjuring the question, well why not take a cab? And my response is two-fold: first, don't ever question my motives, and second, all the friggin cabs were occupied.

And yet the true irony of the whole situation is that one of my favorite past-times is watching people who are caught in the rain sans umbrella. There are always 3 types of reaction when caught in the rain. One, run like hell. Two, walk as if nothing is really happening with your head lowered in shame. Three, find cover. Being the idiot I am, I decided on the second approach. Maybe next time I'll pay more attention to the "what goes around comes around" theory. Whatever.

The Super Soaker 50 was one of the best water guns ever manufactured.

I'm Back (in Black)

2006-10-10T23:12:00.000-04:00

No, not really. My computer was in for repairs again the past couple days, so my apologies once again.

A friend sent me this YouTube link earlier. From the looks of it, Democrats are pretty much to blame for everything. Dems are to blame for not catching Osama; blamed for the recent Mark Foley scandal; blamed for a loosey-goosey attitude toward terrorism; really just blamed for any problem the current administration is having. Anyway, enough of my so-called bleeding-heard-liberal banter. After all, who the fuck am I? Check it out for yourself.

Fade Away

2006-10-03T20:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, I know it's been awhile since my last posting, and I'm sorry. Is being sick last week and having the Macbook random shutdown problem a good enough excuse? Well, contrary to what you think they are legit excuses. But now I am happy to report that the self-proclaimed geniuses have (hopefully) fixed my computer.

I would also like to report with much happiness that I will be attending the final show at CBGB on October 15. Patti Smith is playing, but you can bet that other punk rock luminaries will be there; or at least the ones who are still alive!

I was talking to a good friend of mine about how it's time for that place to close down already. It has basically become a mockery of itself, selling to the Urban Outfitters crowd who desperately try and imitate a movement that no longer exists. Neil Young said it best, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

We Brake for Nobody

2006-09-22T22:35:00.000-04:00

If you're anything like me, then Spaceballs has a special place in your life. Movie snobs often criticize that this is Mel's worst movie and shouldn't rank with his other classics. I, however, vehemently disagree. So good new for all the "assholes" out there. Spaceballs is making its triumphant return as an animated series in Fall 2007. Before you grunt a disapproval, let it be known that Mel himself is writing the pilot and overseeing the project.

Shanah Tovah, and may the Schwartz be with you!

(via Variety.com)

1/4

2006-09-20T22:20:00.000-04:00

With the quarter century marker approaching fast, I got to thinking. I got to thinking how I will probably be carded for the rest of my life. Getting carded at bars is not what chafes my ass. It's getting carded for R rated movies. That's right kids, yours truly still (on occasion) gets carded at the movies. Carded by douchebag a decade younger than me. Also, I think I've pretty much looked the same at every point in my life.

Anyway, I invite all commentary and/or jackass comments regarding age in general, how young I look, and the fact that we are headed to another world war.

Born with Royalty:
1. Bruce Springsteen
2. Jason Alexander
3. Ray Charles
4. John Coltrane

Never Too Early to Learn?

2006-09-17T12:14:00.000-04:00

As told to me by a kindergarten teacher friend of mine:

Daughter: Mommy I want a penis
Mother: Honey, girls don't have penises
Daughter: But I want one
Mother: Well when you get older you can have all the penis you want
Daughter: Yay!

Getting her started a bit early, are we?

Crunk Hashanah

2006-09-14T21:59:00.000-04:00

Rosh Hashanah is next weekend. Happy New Year to all the Jews out there!

A New Game

2006-09-14T21:37:00.000-04:00

Here's a new game to play. Cut out the pieces and dress up Dubya..(MSNBC)

Final Breath

2006-09-13T23:27:00.000-04:00

Within the month, CBGB will no longer be on the Bowery. Almost fitting, as its canopies no longer match the glass boxes thrown up in its midst. In the current issue of the Village Voice, Lenny Kaye of the Patti Smith Group (and mastermind behind the legendary Nuggets record) wrote an outstanding farewell piece to the swank pit he once called home.

Do yourself a favor and read it...

It's always the same ritual unfolding, load-in to load-out, sound check to sonic overload, visiting the stations of the rock-and-roll cross. Hauling the equipment in past the pinball machine. Positioning the amplifier on the splintered stage. Tuning the guitar, hearing the first chord seep into walls that have been tempered to the sound of electric noise. Shouting into the microphone, knowing it's never going to approximate the rebound of the audience throwing it back at you, after you've waited backstage for hours in that cramped lean-to of a dressing room with no door—somehow fitting in a club of such an egalitarian nature—and illegible layers of band stickers and graffiti letting you know who else has done their time here, a grand continuum. Straining to hear your-self over the treble pierce of the monitors, the drummer's snare cracking at your own eardrums. The lights burning into you, the crowd—and it could well be you out there—daring you to top yourself. Suicide or transcendence, take your pick, guitar or ax. (CONTINUE)

Memorialized

2006-09-09T12:53:00.000-04:00

You're truly not a universal icon until your likeness is used for bobble-head and action figures (Moichendising, Moichendising). If I were to compare myself to an action figure, it would definitely be Stretch Armstrong, the lankiest, skinniest dude in the toy market. Do I remind you of any other toys?

And now onetime grunge heads, 10 years past their prime, can purchase a piece of musical history with the Kurt Cobain action figure. Kur(d)t has finally reached a new high in his posthumous career.

The icon of modern rock is immortalized once again as an action figure. This second action figure is based on his appearance in the 1993 MTV Unplugged special. Cobain comes with his acoustic guitar, a chair, microphone, and music stand. Expertly sculpted and highly detailed, this figure is a must-have for Cobain and Nirvana fans!

Item is due to ship by late December, 2006.

(via FMQB and Wizarduniverse)

Goodbye

2006-09-04T09:44:00.000-04:00

This is really sad. The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, has passed away. He died from a stingray barb that hit him in the chest on the northern coast of Australia. Me being a huge dork, I used to love watching his shows where he would play with the most dangerous animals in the jungle, so often coming close to death. That coupled with his deep outback accent made the show pretty damn hilarious. Only fitting that he died by an animal in the wild. We'll miss him.

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN) -- Steve Irwin, the TV presenter known as the "Crocodile Hunter," has died after being stung by a stingray in a marine accident off Australia's north coast.

Media reports say Irwin was snorkeling at Batt Reef, a part of the Great Barrier Reef about 9 miles (about 15 kilometers) from the town of Port Douglas, when the incident happened on Monday morning.

Irwin, 44, was killed by a stingray barb that pierced his chest, according to Cairns police sources.

Irwin was in the area to film pieces for a show called "Ocean's Deadliest" with Phillippe Cousteau, grandson of Jacques, Irwin's manager and friend John Stainton told CNN's "American Morning." But weather had prevented the crew from doing work for that program, said Stainton, so Irwin decided to do some softer features for a new children's TV show he was doing with his daughter, Bindi.

"He came over the top of a stingray that was buried in the sand, and the barb came up and hit him in the chest," said Stainton.

Ambulance officers confirmed they attended a reef fatality Monday morning off Port Douglas, according to Australian media. (Watch scenes of Irwin, known for his his enthusiasm and support for conservation -- 2:49)

Queensland Police Services also confirmed Irwin's death and said his family had been notified. Irwin was director of the Australia Zoo in Queensland. (Read the TIME.com obituary.)

He is survived by his American-born wife Terri and their two children, Bindi Sue, born 1998, and Robert (Bob), born December 2003.

"The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest dads on the planet," Stainton told reporters in Cairns, according to The Associated Press. "He died doing what he loved best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. He would have said, 'Crocs Rule!' " (Watch a remembrance of Steve Irwin -- 1:58)

Australia Prime Minister John Howard said he was "shocked and distressed at Steve Irwin's sudden, untimely and freakish death," according to AP. "It's a huge loss to Australia."

Irwin became a popular figure on Australian and international television through Irwin's close handling of wildlife, most notably the capture and relocation of crocodiles.

Irwin's enthusiastic approach to nature conservation and the environment won him a global following. He was known for his exuberance and use of the catch phrase "Crikey!"

"It's unbelievable, really," Jack Hanna, the host of "Jack Hanna's Animal Adventure" and director emeritus of the Columbus (Ohio) Zoo, told CNN. "You think of Steve Irwin and you think 'invincible.' "

Hanna, a friend of Irwin's, noted that Irwin's persona of the Crocodile Hunter was no act. Irwin grew up around crocodiles, snakes and other animals at his parents' Queensland Reptile and Fauna Park and had been handling such creatures since he was a child.

"The guy lived his life this way," said Hanna. "It was how he was raised. You knew that this guy, from the time he was 8 or 9 years old, was working with crocodiles and snakes."

Though stingrays can be threatening, their sting -- usually prompted by self-defense -- is not often fatal. The bull ray that apparently stung Irwin was "a one-in-a-million thing," wildlife documentary maker Ben Cropp told TIME. "I have swum with many rays, and I have only had one do that to me."

"A wild animal is like a loaded gun -- it can go off at any time," Hanna told CNN. "You have to be careful of that." But, he added, it's not the animals who are inherently dangerous, but the way they may react around humans. "It's not fair to the animal. It's only using the defenses that God gave it," said Hanna.

Automat

2006-08-30T22:57:00.000-04:00

Go there...

In case you haven't heard, it's BAMN Automat on St. Marks. Go there. Go there when you're so drunk and stoned that all you want to do is eat. Nothing there is more than $4, so don't complain about not having money for food.

www.bamnfood.com

Chaim Witz

2006-08-27T22:52:00.000-04:00

Yup, that's Gene Simmons' real name. Pretty funny, huh. In past postings, I've established that I'm not the biggest fan of Kiss music. However, I totally respect their impact and legacy on rock music and its relationship with merchandising. But now I command a much higher respect for Gene after reading this article. It is really moving.

The flamboyant, Israeli-born rocker Gene Simmons has sent a televised message of support to an Israeli soldier seriously wounded in fighting in Lebanon, calling him his 'hero.' Simmons, 57, founded the heavy metal band Kiss in the 1970s and became famous for wearing white and black face makeup, spitting fire and sticking his tongue out at sold-out elaborate performances. Simmons, the band's bass player, was born Chaim Witz in the northern Israeli city of Haifa before emigrating to New York as a child. Simmons sent a video message this week to Ron Weinreich, an Israeli soldier and die-hard Kiss fan, who was seriously wounded in Israel's 34-day fight with Hizbullah guerrillas in Lebanon. Weinreich remains hospitalized and is paralyzed from the chest down. Above his hospital bed, a Kiss poster is spread across the wall. Weinreich's brother had his wedding relocated this week to the hospital, so his brother could attend. At the wedding, the surprise recording was played. "Hi Ron, this is Gene Simmons. I'm talking to you from my home. I can't tell you how proud I am of you, and how much the world and Israel owes you a debt of gratitude," he said. "From the bottom of my heart, you are a real hero, you are everybody's hero, you are my hero and I wish I could be there with you." Suddenly switching to confident Hebrew, Simmons added: "My name is Chaim, I was born in Haifa." He concluded by saying in English: "I wish you my best, a happy life and I hope the wedding comes off and everybody should honor you because you are a real hero."

(via Jerusalem Post)

Failure

2006-08-25T13:23:00.000-04:00

To all my readers, go to Google and type in "Failure."

A Letter

2006-08-23T23:45:00.000-04:00

Dear Bob,

You need to get off your high horse. To say that no good-sounding records have come out in the past two decades is what's atrocious. I love your music dude, but you can't criticize the forward thrust of technology. Even you had the urge, back when you "went electric" at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival to experiment with new technology in your music. Creative minds now are just experimenting in the same way. Just be careful not to criticize the music of our generation, or else you have become what you grew up hating - the music of your parents. It's okay, we know you've lost touch with the music you completely helped inspire.

An Angered Fan.

Those Muthaf*@#$% Snakes Are Everywhere!

2006-08-22T22:55:00.000-04:00

This cartoon I created owes its genesis to an evolving conversation I had with a friend regarding Snakes on a Plane. Therefore, I don't take full credit. But I take enough. Click on It.

Who You Gonna Call...?

2006-08-22T21:52:00.000-04:00

To say that Ghostbusters is not in my top ten favorite movies would be an incredible lie. I grew up on this movie, even though it was released when i was 3 years old. I had the action figures, the slime, the proton backpack....the works.

Okay, this is the point where you start to think the author is a complete tool. Leaving this minute factor aside, however, I felt that any fan of this movie could benefit from this website.

Ironicsans put together this awesome interactive map highlighting all landmarks appearing in Ghostbusters. You will enjoy this, just have some faith.

Hey Whiteboy

2006-08-21T22:07:00.000-04:00

I got called "Whiteboy" the other night by a bum on the F train. At first, I wasn't sure if I should rejoice or reel in disbelief. But now in clearer thought, rejoice I am. My street cred has gone from zero to 5% from this comment alone. Yup, still a loser, last I checked.

But this idiot bum felt calling me a derogatory label would grab my attention, thus allowing me to contribute to his "fund". I hope he learned his lesson.

Rock It Man

2006-08-20T23:02:00.000-04:00

So I'm watching the Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner, and am laughing my ass off. It's reminding me of that scene in Family Guy in which he gets skewered for his "acting" abilities. Rock It Man...

and a funny clip from the roast courtesy of Sulu...

Bueller....Frye....

2006-08-16T21:43:00.000-04:00

This year marks the 20th anniversary of the Breakfast Club. In partial celebration of this feat, a documentary about the impact of Eighties teen movies is set for release. It is aptly titled Don't You Forget About Me after the Simple Minds tune featured in Breakfast Club. No release date has been given for the film. Contributors to the documentary include Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson, Mia Sara, and Roger Ebert. It is directed by Matt Austin

Go Here for Film's Website.

(via Billboard)

Mid-East in Deep Poop

2006-08-15T14:57:00.000-04:00

200

2006-08-14T23:34:00.000-04:00

Pitchfork has an awesome segment of the Top 200 songs of the Sixties. Part I encompasses songs #200-151. In their words:

People always ask: "When is Pitchfork gonna run a list of the top albums of the 1960s?" The answer today? Probably never. Not that we didn't consider it. It's just that when we sat down to map it all out, we found it would be more rewarding to approach the decade through its songs instead. After all, it was by and large a single-oriented era-- the long-player didn't really take over as a creative medium until the 60s had nearly come to an end. And besides, Revolver's ego is out of hand as it is.

So today, we kick off the largest feature in Pitchfork history, a five-day trip through the first full decade of the pop/rock era. From today until Friday, we'll roll out the 200 songs that most resonate with a generation too young to have experienced the decade firsthand, but old enough to know it had more to offer than "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction".

Honestly, the countdown sounds more like something Rolling Stone would do. Face it, they regurgitate best-of lists more often than Pete Doherty shoots up. However, Pitchfork is forgiven, as one rarely will see such lists. Plus their content is much more substantial.

Post Script: And for the record, I rate Rubber Soul over Revolver any day.

Can You Tell Me How to Get...

2006-08-14T23:07:00.000-04:00

Nobody thought Ernie and Bert were gay until "maturity" took hold of our lives. Now that we're older, it's much easier to see the error of our ignorant youthful ways. Now another ambiguously gay character is joing the neighborhood. Her name is Abby Cadabbie, and she's a "fairy" in training. The premise of this character needs to be a double entendre, otherwise parents would lose interest while watching with their kids. This way, parents can laugh along quietly without incident.

On a related note, I've always wondered this - is Big Bird a guy or girl? S/He's definitely got the Pat syndrome.

Eat It

2006-08-12T11:47:00.000-04:00

You would never know it by looking at me, but I love to eat. In fact I'm always eating. So you can imagine my delight upon receiving this link in an email. See how your appetite stacks up against these serial eaters - pun intended.

Here is the Champ's menu:

Bib Sheet

Nagano, Japan
Age: 27
Weight: 160

Cow Brains: 57 (17.7 pounds) / 15 minutes
Hamburgers: Krystals: 69 Krystal Square Burgers / 8 minutes/ Nov. 13, 2004
Hot Dogs: 53 1/2 Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs and Buns / 12 minutes/ July 4, 2004
Rice Balls: 20 pounds rice balls / 30 minutes

Sort of makes you wonder how badly the bathroom probably smells the morning after one of these contests.

I Cut Math That Day

2006-08-09T21:02:00.000-04:00

I'm a huge fan of urban street art; an art form that really has no boundries. Yet I fail to grasp why somebody would spray paint this onto a roadside barrier.

There's nothing cool or hip about the Quadratic Formula. For me, it is just a fading memory from high school math courses. Apparently not to this person. My guess is the author was some douchebag hipster acting on a pre-conceived notion to expose some sort of non-existent irony. Regardless of the author, I still got a good chuckle from it. But nothing more than a chuckle. I wasn't LOL'ing or ROTFL'ing.

2006-08-08T23:25:00.000-04:00

Why?

Earlier this year, the surviving members of Alice in Chains traveled across the U.S. to play a mere six club dates, recruiting Comes With the Fall frontman William DuVall to stand in for the late Layne Staley.

So now, the band has decided to head back out this fall, having booked a total of 40 gigs, sprinkled throughout the U.S., with one date in Canada.

The tour will get underway September 22 in Las Vegas and run through November 26 in San Francisco, with additional dates being added over the next few weeks. It remains unclear whether the newly reunited Chains will record new material with DuVall any time soon, but guitarist Jerry Cantrell said in February that it was a remote possibility.

I'm not at all excited about this reunion. Way to sully AIC's legacy.

(via MTV)

No Shirts, No Shoes...

2006-08-07T20:50:00.000-04:00

I was at CB's Gallery last week to see a show and was amazed at the number of people who came in strictly for the tshirt. People who otherwise have no idea of the club's impact on music history and downtown NY culture, roll in to purchase a shirt they deem chic. Like Chuck Taylors, CBGB shirts are suffering from a tragic case of complete mainstream saturation. Chucks were the sneakers you wore because you were short on cash. At one point these sneakers were $25. Now you can't find them for less than $40. Everyone and their fuckin mother now has a pair. Hipsters, trendsters, and yuppies can finally agree on some form of fashion. It's not the first time, but I certainly hope it's the last.

CBGB officially closes at the end of September, so don't forget to pick up a tshirt. CB's won't be the same in Vegas, regardless of whether Hilly brings the bathroom intact.

Top Five

2006-08-04T20:12:00.000-04:00

Walking home from work the other day, I picked up the latest L Magazine and came across this gem of an article.

Everyone loves stereotyping areas of NYC ad nauseum, including me. So grab your book of cliches and hop on board for the ride. Okay, that was lame..

Map About Town

Five NYC Clichés...

...and What They Really Think

By Evan Gruzis

They say every cliché is grounded in reality. Granted, there is truth in this, but most of the time it’s just an excuse to make fun of people you don’t really understand. Well, in an effort to redress some wrongs, we offer you five NYC clichés and what they’re really thinking (which may or not redress any actual wrongs).

1. Midwestern Tourist
“Look, I’ve always wanted to move to New York and become a writer or work in a gallery, but various circumstances never allowed it to happen. So what if I got a good deal on a hotel in Midtown? So what if I find shorts comfortable? Why are you so obsessed with appearances, anyway? Have you ever seen pictures of William Gass? Whatever, I’m on my way to BAM.”

2. The Trust-Fund Hipster
“Am I to blame for the fortunes of my parents? I may dress like a malnourished nine year old, and my attempts at “art” may seem amateurish and derivative… but at least I’m trying to add a little beauty to the world!”

3. The Wall Street Trader
“I firmly believe that free-market economies are the best way to address the iniquity between First and Third World standards of living. Granted, globalization unchecked can ruin a country, but that’s why I’m here, to check it. What are you doing about it?”

4. The Bridge and Tunnel Kid
“I have one of the finest collections of Civil Rights memorabilia in the Tri-State Area. Sure, I like to party, but the world’s not just about getting action.”

5. The Model
“I have a PhD from the University of Bratislava, with a specialization in non-Euclidean geometry. Fuck you.”

Breakin the Law

2006-08-03T19:17:00.000-04:00

Breakin the Law by Judas Priest. It invokes images of scatterbrained youth, fitted with a full mop of hair, snake arm tatoos, Doc Marten boots, and more chains than a dominatrix; of sweaty fat dudes dominating mosh pits; of Beavis and Butthead in all their debauchery, singing along as they, for lack of a better phrase, break the law.

One never thinks of a shirtless old lanky dude with loose skin and no teeth. An old dude sitting on the sidewalk with and iPod? And shouting the words to passers by. I admit it's classic rock, but there's nothing classic about that bizarre situation. I should have tossed him a quarter and told him to shut the fuck up. Then again he was breakin the law, because I think panhandling is technically illegal. But who's keeping track anyway.

Just a Question

2006-08-02T21:13:00.000-04:00

I have valid question for everyone. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? If you don't eat meat because of cruelty to animals, then eating these cookies technically makes you hypocrite. Am I wrong? What do you think?

Bat III

2006-08-01T22:23:00.000-04:00

Can someone please tell Mr. Loaf to stop milking the Bat Out of Hell franchise? It's been almost 30 years since the seminal album was released (which also happens to be one of my favorites). Not to mention, it's been Meat Loaf's only real big hit in the same time. Everything between Bat Out of Hell and Back Into Hell is rarely heard. I have yet to meet someone that likes the shit released between these two albums.

So obviously, Meat needs to once again capitalize on the name to garner more fans; and ultimately cash. He teamed up (again) with songsmith Jim Steinaman on the forthcoming album, Bat III. The real pattern here is every dozen years Meat Loaf has a hit. It's time for the next one. Let's hope not.

The project was produced by Desmond Child and features contributions from "Bat Out of Hell" producer Todd Rundgren, Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx, Queen's Brian May, Steve Vai and John 5. Longtime collaborator Steinman wrote seven tracks, following the resolution of a recent lawsuit over the "Bat Out of Hell" trademark.

(via Billboard)

25 & Still Relevant?

2006-08-01T21:27:00.000-04:00

MTV is one month and three weeks older than me. Alas, I never got to witness the launch of the once-great tv station. I have witnessed, though, the metamorphosis of the channel from trend setter in the music industry to a mockery of itself.

The glory days are gone forever, but you can relive them here. I decided to choose a random sample of video clips in MTV history.

The Launch & Introductions (8/1/81)

First Video (You Must know this nugget of info)

Early Promo

Remote Control (See the Stars) - 1987 - 1990

The State (I'm Outta Heeerre)

THE Dynamic Duo

Jackass

FDA's Morning After

2006-07-31T22:24:00.000-04:00

Conservatives are probably reeling in fear after hearing news that the FDA will most likely approve behind-the-counter sales of the "morning after pill". The Right claims that this move will increase the sexual appetites of America's youth and encourage promiscuity. However, I disagree. We live in an overly sexualized society where social taboos cause curiosity, not drugs meant to help women. America's Puritanical views on the evils of sex directly correlate with higher rates of promiscuity. This is my belief, and I don't feel like backing it up with any concrete data, so kiss my arse.

Click here to read everything.

My Way or the Highway

2006-07-30T22:54:00.000-04:00

After an enjoyable weekend in Indianapolis with family, I was pretty anxious to get back to my place to relax. On the drive into the city I witnessed honestly one of the funniest sights of my life. This is one I'll remember for a long time coming.

It's the usual rubber necking traffic coming off 495 and onto the BQE. I see sirens in the distance and thinking, great people are always so feeble minded to slow down and look. Only this time, I was in complete agreement with this line of thinking. As we passed by the blinking lights, 2 cops were standing next to an individual in his vehicle - his motorized wheelchair!! This fucker was using the highway and no one was gonna stop him. WTF Mate!? Either that or this guy just wasn't sure where he was going; but somehow I don't much believe that. He was caught on the on-ramp before the merge. I wonder if he would have survived that merge..

Can't Wait

2006-07-25T21:35:00.000-04:00

R.E.M. was forever popularized by their song's appearence in Black Sheep with David Spade and Chris Farley. I wonder if Michael Stipe purposely wrote a song knowing its inevitable misunderstanding, just to step aside and have a laugh at his audience? What do you think?

Well, whatever you think, that song ("It's the End of the World as We Know It") will be appearing on a new R.E.M. compilation on September 12. The set chronicles the band's stint on the indie label I.R.S. until 1987.

Tracklist for And I Feel Fine...The Best of the I.R.S. Years 1982-1987:

01 Begin the Begin
02 Radio Free Europe
03 Pretty Persuasion
04 Talk About the Passion
05 (Don't Go Back To) Rockville
06 Sitting Still
07 Gardening at Night
08 7 Chinese Bros.
09 So. Central Rain (I'm Sorry)
10 Driver 8
11 Can't Get There from Here
12 Finest Worksong
13 Feeling Gravity's Pull
14 I Believe
15 Life and How to Live It
16 Cuyahoga
17 The One I Love
18 Welcome to the Occupation
19 Fall on Me
20 Perfect Circle
21 It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

(via Pitchfork)

It Comes Full Circle

2006-07-23T22:54:00.000-04:00

Unlike the media, I rightfully consider what's happening in the Mideast as a WAR, and not a CONFLICT. I love how PC now means to not say the word war ever. So for the past 12 or so days, my eyes and attention have been focused on the news; while my thoughts are with my family and friends living in harm's way.

I alluded to Live From an Israeli Bunker in my last post, and I check his blog daily. This dude is only 17 and is somewhat of a journalistic phenom. Today he posted this video on his blog, which inspired me to post after my usual hiatus.

It's scary to think that people are still so ignorant to the point of disaster. It's shit like this that in part justifies the ongoing WAR.

Shit Hits Fan

2006-07-18T20:52:00.000-04:00

I think now is the time to weigh in on what's happening in Israel. Some may think I'm a cynic for saying so, but I don't think peace is really a viable option in the Middle East. The only way such a "miracle" can happen is if terrorist organizations (and their state sponsors) recognize Israel as a legitimate entity; and that textbooks fed to impressionable minds have accurate maps of the Jewish State. After this first step is complete, that's when peace will become a viable option. But you and I both know that won't happen anytime soon.

Israel has the right to protect itself from terrorists, like any other country would. Why the double standard? A foreign entity enters your land, kidnaps 2 of your bretheren while slaying others, then returns to their homeland. Therefore you can't honestly tell me that Israel's reaction is too severe. They are a country virtually surrounded by nations that want them off the map. Israel will protect itself and will be victorious.

Lastly, I was reading Dark Stuff, and he had a link to this great site. This person is documenting first hand his experiences taking cover in a bomb shelter.

Fat Tony

2006-07-13T20:38:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, The Soprano's used to be a great show with a regular television schedule. The first season easily ranks in the echelon of classics. However, as Tony Soprano's (James Gandolfini) waistline expanded, so too did the show's greed. And inevitably such greed led to poor writing. Such as having only one major plotline carrying the season. I'm a huge Soprano's fan, but am fed up with being strung along with no end in sight. Honestly, I wish the show would fuckin end already. This whole ordeal has turned the last few seasons into the Godfather III, which as everyone knows, was the worst of the trilogy.

But this rant doesn't come from left field. No No. No more than two months after viewers learned the final season would return in Jan. 2007, it was announced today that we will need to wait even longer. That's right kids. Because dumbass Tony had knee surgery, the final season is postponed (yet again) to March.

Shine on You Crazy Diamond

2006-07-11T21:23:00.000-04:00

Syd Barrett passed is gone. Diabetes. What a tragic story for such a troubled soul. But perhaps the worst thing about his passing is his troubled legacy. This always seems to be a theme of mine, talking about legacies. But back to the point, shall we. Anyway, he will always be remembered as the guy who helped found Pink Floyd and then was kicked out because of a mental breakdown. But that story has been the same for the past 30 years. He died the same way he left public consciousness, a talented musician and a troubled soul. As fans of Pink Floyd, we owe a debt to Syd. Especially helping to create and inspire some of the best and most influential music of our time.

Out

2006-07-09T22:35:00.000-04:00

Yours truly finally made it to his new abode in downtown NYC. Let's just say it's been a long time coming. And that it hasn't completely hit me that I'm moved out. Got an early start this morning moving some shit in, then went uptown to watch Italy play the French. I'm glad Italy won, but any match that ends in a penalty kick win is very anti-climactic; especially the final game.

Petty

2006-06-29T17:19:00.000-04:00

Regardless of how cheesy you think he is, Tom Petty is the man. His music is so simple it's great. Here, Petty explains how will not pursue legal action against the Chilis for blatantly stealing his early-Nineties gem, "Mary Jane's Last Dance". Instead, he admits in so many words that all rock music is derivative. Everyone steals from everyone else. That's how rock n roll was founded in the first place; white guys stealing black music.

"The truth is, I seriously doubt that there is any negative intent there. And a lot of Rock & Roll songs sound alike. Ask Chuck Berry. The Strokes took “American Girl” [for their song “Last Nite”], and I saw an interview with them where they actually admitted it. That made me laugh out loud. I was like, 'OK, good for you.' It doesn’t bother me."

Wear an Undershirt, Fool

2006-06-28T23:04:00.000-04:00

It's hot outside, and especially sticky. Brutal weather. Especially brutal for people commuting to work. And yet, for the life of me, I still cannot understand why some people refuse to wear undershirts under their nice shirts. It's the most disgusting thing in the world to seem some beast of a guy sweating through his work shirt. Especially when the pits are wet and and sweat drips down the back. I just would like to walk up to said individual and say, "stop fuckin sweating all over everyone" and then leave.

Sorry to gross you out, but I needed to vent after a day in the hot humidity with these idiots.

2006-06-27T23:14:00.000-04:00

I am finding that most of my posts are me apologizing for not writing enough. And so, in acknowledgement of this fact, I post to apologize to my few fans for the lack of content on the site. Once I'm settled in my new place, I will be able to write more.

I also acknowledge that once I start posting again, most of said readers will have moved on. Americans have the smallest attentions spans.

Macbook

2006-06-21T23:42:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally made the jump to the Mac world. My friends will be the first to admit that it took me long enough. And they're right. I've been talking about getting a Mac for a long time. So finally, after much contemplation (and aggravation), I've purchased a Macbook. And, man, it is the shiznit.

In other news that's been brewing in my long hiatus, I will be moving out of the comfort bubble of home and into NYC. I can't take this decision too lightly as it is one of the bigger decisions in my life. I'm glad to be fortunate enough to have family so close by.

I will be posting more, don't worry. So just stay with me as I go through the move. Later kiddies.

Letters

2006-06-14T17:20:00.000-04:00

I wish my residence was in Rep. Gary Ackerman's district. Below are images of postcards the representative sent Secretary Michael Chertoff in response of the DHS cutting homeland security grants by $83 million...

You can see more of his postcards on his office website. Check it out.

Gnarls

2006-06-07T21:57:00.000-04:00

They may have (pardon the pun) a crazy stage name, but the new Gnarls Barkley album, St. Elsewhere, is on heavy rotation for me. It's a great pop/techno/hip hop record that you should hear. I caught them a couple weeks ago at Webster Hall, and was surprised at their performance. They've got a live band and everything, and always dress up as some sort of cultural icon. I found this picture of them on Stereogum, performing at the MTV Music awards. It is nothing short of spectacular. Nothing cooler than Boba Fett on turntables..

Home Made Charger

2006-06-04T20:31:00.000-04:00

I caught this on Cnet and find it unbelievable. Somebody took the time to create a USB charger out of an Altoids tin and 2 AA batteries. Pretty friggin stellar. Here is the synopsis at the top of the page:

This project details a small & simple, but very powerful USB charger for your mp3 player, camera, cell phone, and any other gadget you can plug into a USB port to charge!

The charger circuitry and 2 AA batteries fit into an Altoids gum tin, and will run your iPod for hours: 2.5x more than you'd get from a 9V USB charger! You can use rechargable batteries too.

I wish I could use this, but my iPod is the second generation model that can only charge via firewire. I should probably build it either way. I'm a self-admitted dork..

Find the Movies

2006-06-03T14:45:00.000-04:00

Some time ago, a picture was circulating the net which begged the voyeur to go on a "where's waldo" quest of band names. It was fabulous. So you can imagine my delight when I opened Myspace yesterday to find a friend had posted the picture below. It came just in time to satiate my appetite for another search puzzle. Only this time, the task is to find 100 movie titles in the picture, which I may add, will indeed be more difficult.

Garbage Press

2006-06-02T21:26:00.000-04:00

How can a reputable newspaper make itself look bad? By trying to act cool and having it completely backfire. Please explain to me why the Washington Post needs to report on the phenomenon of "The Wingman." Is the newspaper struggling so badly for readership that it needs to stoop this low? Apparently so. (And why do I keep asking all these rhetorical questions and then answering them? I don't know).

For any meathead who doesn't know what the wingman is, read the article. Otherwise don't bother reading. But I do suggest at least checking out the site to see how worthless it looks under The Washington Post logo.

(via Gawker)

Bill O'Reilly is a Dumbass

2006-06-02T21:13:00.000-04:00

The below link is a video clip from Keith Olberman's countdown show from last night, in which he tears O'Reilly a new asshole for not getting his facts straight. Apparently, on the Factor, O'Reilly was arguing with Gen. Wesley Clark about the recent Haditha scandal and compared it to Malmedy massacre during WWII.

If you hate O'Reilly as much as me, then you owe it to yourself to check out this clip. It's a bit lengthy, but it makes the pompous jackass look terrible.

Check it out.

25 Worst in Tech

2006-05-30T21:10:00.000-04:00

I'm sure the psycho-geek in all of us can appreciate this list. PCWorld.com recently proclaimed the 25 worst tech products of all time. What's more, in case you don't remember some of the products, there are lengthy descriptions.

Not so surprising how AOL made it to the head spot on the list. I never liked that fuckin program, save for its instant message client. In high school, we would use those useless "free minutes" cd's as frisbees.

I'm not ashamed to admit that this is fun reading.

2006-05-29T10:21:00.000-04:00

An Inconvenient Truth

2006-05-28T18:41:00.000-04:00

This summer's scariest movie will not have goblins, hills that talk, or Omen remakes. Nay, the scariest movie is in fact embedded in truth. Al Gore narrates this documentary about the global warming crisis and its effects on the world at large. Watch this preview and get freaked...

??

2006-05-24T23:17:00.000-04:00

I just watched the Lost season finale. My only response is, WTF mate? Two hours of buildup and no resolve. October is 5 months away...start counting.

Final Countdown

2006-05-23T20:33:00.000-04:00

Everyone loves the classic fight song by Europe. Now watch this amazing band cover the song..

Nothing to See Here

2006-05-21T19:09:00.000-04:00

My apologies to my half dozen readers for being so MIA the past couple weeks. I have no real excuse, except that I'm a lazy bastard. Lately, when I actually have the time to post, I just choose the couch and Telly instead. Tell-tale signs of a bad habit. Good thing I'm skeletal thin or else I'd have a problem on my hands.

Mind you that this post is coming from an extremely tired mofo. That same lazy mofo who just did a 12 mile bike ride from Queens into NYC. So bear with my lack of fluid thought. No casualties to report, though I did almost wipeout crossing the Williamsburg Bridge. I guess it was a bad idea to take photos while riding my bike.

Gross

2006-05-17T22:45:00.000-04:00

A friend sent this link to me earlier today...

The 25 un-sexiest women ever. Here's the top 3:

1. Rosie O'Donnel
2. Janet Reno
3. Caroline Rhea

Go to College Humor to see the whole list.

Macca Split

2006-05-17T09:32:00.000-04:00

McCartney is getting rid of landmine activist, Heather Mills...finally I might add. Something about marrying and fathering a child with someone the same age as your daughter is just creepy. Kudos Paul.

"Our parting is amicable and both of us still care about each other very much but have found it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship with constant intrusion into our private lives, and we have actively tried to protect the privacy of our child," the joint statement said.

Yeah, I'm sure it was the media attention that caused the split...

(via CNN)

Beatlebox

2006-05-12T10:05:00.000-04:00

The Beatles invented everything. Thanks Stereogum.

Kiss Coffeehouse

2006-05-09T18:06:00.000-04:00

This post is dedicated to The Dark Stuff, who seems to love Kiss more than life itself...

Yes Kiss Kids. The greatest rock merchandisers ever to hit the music scene are now to cash in on eating. What's gonna be served, blood? Moral of the story is that you only need a gimmick to sell to hit it big. See for yourself.

Required Kiss products: Kiss-opoly, Kiss Dolls, Kiss Kasket

Alcoholica No More

2006-05-06T12:11:00.000-04:00

Metallica is inching ever-closer to joining the exclusive club of rock bands with waning relevance in today's music. After dropping Jason Newsted and doing a 180 musically, Metallica just isn't what it used to be. Granted all bands go through periods of growth, but their last effort St. Anger seemed more a degeneration. By definition, metal bands have extended solos.

Metallica emerged from silence yesterday to announce that recording with Rick Rubin is going well:

But he says the current project, which is being produced by Rick Rubin, is "going great because everyone is present and everyone is enjoying the process. The process is a lot easier. [Drummer] Lars [Ulrich] and I would butt heads daily. It would be going to war every day. You'd suit up in your armor before you go in the studio. Battling back and forth. Now it's helping each other do the best of their ability. It's all moving toward the same goal instead of pulling back."

Oh, also that Hetfield is being honored for his "devotion to helping other addicts with the recovery process."

Required listening: Ride the Lightning, Kill Em All

A New Hope?

2006-05-04T22:25:00.000-04:00

Die hard Star Wars fans, rejoice. There is some new hope left in this galaxy. If you are anything like me, you were appalled by the fact that George Luca$ refused to release the original theatrical versions of Star Wars on DVD. He only wanted the recently tinkered and updated crap that, more than anything, just ruins the saga. Well he's finally given in, and in September the originals will be released on DVD. The silver lining, however, is that the trilogy will not be a packaged set. Each movie must be purchased separately ($30).

Their wishes will be granted Sept. 12 when Fox releases new two-disc DVDs ($30 each) of Star Wars (since retitled as Episode IV: A New Hope), The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi that include the films as they first appeared in theaters, along with the new, restored versions (now available in the four-disc $70 Star Wars Trilogy).

So in essence, asshole Luca$ is charging us a fee for wanting the old versions ($90 v. $70).

(via Yahoo)

You Can't Get Any More Crazy

2006-05-02T13:32:00.000-04:00

This aired on Hannity and Colmes a few weeks ago, and I hadn't seen it until now. Unreal..

Blender is the Shit

2006-04-30T17:37:00.000-04:00

Before last month, I had been a subscriber to Rolling Stone for about 6 years. The last 3 years I was fed up with it, but figured why not? It's only $12 to renew 2 years. I finally realized that you couldn't get me to re-subscribe for free. Seeing another issue of 50 greatest albums/guitarists/songwriters/album art/etc was enough to drive me to a mental institute. That, and the maganzine is one big ad to keep Wenner Media afloat (and Us Weekly of course).

There is good news. During my subscription of discontent, I discovered and fell in love with Blender magazine. Whereas Rolling Stone constantly regurgitates classic rock for fogies, Blender offers a cool perspective on both the old and the new. Their articles are more interesting, and have a humorous element. For instance, this is an ~~article~~ countdown you must read. "50 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Music."

35. Van Halen fire David Lee Roth
34. Van Halen hire Sammy Hagar
33. Van Halen fire Sammy Hagar
32. Van Halen hire Gary Cherone

Super Mario

2006-04-30T11:23:00.000-04:00

In a talent show, this guy decided to act out the first level of Super Mario Bros. He decided to take the tunnel with the coins instead of going for the 1up. But hey, we're not splitting hairs here. The performance is brilliant and well-executed.

(via CNet)

Neil Young

2006-04-28T13:43:00.000-04:00

Stream the new Neil Young album.

D-Day: Alternative Observance

2006-04-26T21:48:00.000-04:00

June 6, 1944 was the day allied forces stepped ashore at Normandy to invade Nazi-held France. But this year, there is an alternaive observance for D-Day...

...NATIONAL DAY OF SLAYER (6/6/06)

Official Statement on Participation

Listen to Slayer at full blast in your car.
Listen to Slayer at full blast in your home.
Listen to Slayer at full blast at your place of employment.
Listen to Slayer at full blast in any public place you prefer.
DO NOT use headphones! The objective of this day is for everyone within earshot to understand that it is the National Day of Slayer. National holidays in America aren't just about celebrating; they're about forcing it upon non-participants.

Canuck

2006-04-26T21:43:00.000-04:00

In general, I'm a huge proponent of ripping on Canada. So this ad campaign struck me as quite humorous. Enjoy.

Beans

2006-04-25T22:03:00.000-04:00

Beans, Beans, they're good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you fart. The more you fart, the better you feel. So eat your beans at every meal.

Well, not if these Venezuelan scientists have anything to say about it. Apparently, they've identified two bacteria that may be added to beans to reduce flatulence. And here I always thought the best part of beans was the gas. Yours truly, 24 with a mental age of 12.

They identified two bacteria, Lactobacillus casei and Lactobacillus plantarum, which can be added to beans so they cause minimal distress to those who eat them, and to those around the bean-lovers, Marisela Granito of Simon Bolivar University in Caracas, Venezuela and colleagues reported.

(via CNN, I'm not sure how this qualifies as headline fodder, but okay.)

Show Us the Way

2006-04-23T19:32:00.000-04:00

Frampton is set to return with Fingerprint, an all-instrumental album, in September. Sorry dude, no matter how hard you try you will never escape the shadow of Frampton Comes Alive.

With that, here is the obligatory Wayne's World quote: "Exqueese me? Have I seen this one before? "Frampton Comes Alive"? Everybody in the world has Frampton Comes Alive. If you lived in the suburbs you were issued it. It came in the mail with samples of "Tide".

"Fingerprint" features an array of guests, including Pearl Jam guitarist Mike McCready and drummer Matt Cameron on an original song, "Blowing Smoke," as well as a cover of a well-known 1990s rock hit which Frampton declined to reveal.

Other contributions were turned in by guitarist Warren Haynes and the Shadows' Hank Marvin and Brian Bennett. "If I couldn't have gotten the Shadows, I would have done a Shadows number myself, because they're the reason I'm standing here talking to you," Frampton says of the long-running U.K.-based instrumental rock outfit.

(via Billboard)

How Old Am I?

2006-04-21T20:51:00.000-04:00

I feel like this conversation could've been in Dumb and Dumber after, "You can't triple stamp a double stamp LLoyd."

Me: alright well steve is prob coming too
Me: no
Mike: yes
Me: no
Mike: yes
Me: no
Mike: yes infinite
Me: no
Mike: impossible
Me: you lose
Mike: no way
Me: you spelled infinity wrong
Me: ergo you lose
Mike: i infanitized my yes's......dick
Me: not if you cant spell it right

Over

2006-04-20T23:00:00.000-04:00

Finally, real food again. BREAD and BEER!

DLR Canned

2006-04-20T18:04:00.000-04:00

The logical follow up to my last DLR post is this one, in which Mr. Roth will be ousted from his CBS gig. Like him or not, he's gone. I feel that CBS should have invested more time into the show. You can't expect to replace Stern with equal results in less than three months. Roth still needed to nurture his role more. Oh well.

In a strange twist, Infinity will be licensing Opie & Anthony's show from XM in seven of its markets, including NYC.

David Lee Roth's short-lived radio CBS morning show stint will come to a screeching halt within a few weeks, sources say. In one of the first satellite-to-terrestrial radio syndication deals, XM Satellite Radio has an agreement in place to license its Opie & Anthony Show to CBS Radio as a replacement for Roth in seven markets.

Opie and Anthony will air on all seven stations where Roth replaced Howard Stern in January: WFNY New York, WYSP Philadelphia, WBCN Boston, KLLI Dallas, WNCX Cleveland, WRKZ Pittsburgh and WPBZ West Palm Beach.

(via Billboard)

Iggy's Back

2006-04-19T22:56:00.000-04:00

Roll over Jake and Elwood, Iggy's getting the band back together. Hail the Stooges.

Punk icon Iggy Pop has been holed up in "a little cottage in the boonies on a little river" in Florida writing music with his old band the Stooges. The as-yet-untitled set, the legendary rock act's first since 1973, is due out next year via Virgin and will be produced by Steve Albini. It will also feature several tracks produced by Jack White (White Stripes, Raconteurs).

The Stooges will also embark on their first full-blown reunion tour, having previously focused on the festival circuit and one-offs since reassembling in 2003. At deadline, the lone date confirmed is an appearance in December at the U.K.'s Nightmare Before Christmas festival, which will be curated by Sonic Youth's Thurston Moore.

I don't usually think too highly of washed up rock luminaries putting out new records. But contrary to my own beliefs, I wholeheartedly think that this album will rock out. The godfathers of punk still have relevance in today's music, and Iggy's still got it. Plus you can't go wrong with Steve Albini on the boards. But I'll have to wait until next year to see if I can prove myself wrong.

(via Billboard)

VR Experiments

2006-04-19T22:39:00.000-04:00

I was a bit caught off guard when I learned that hip hop producer Pharrell was going to team up with Velvet Revolver. Rap-rock collaborations have been commonplace ever since Run DMC broke new ground with Aerosmith. Somehow I get the feeling that Pharrell may do more harm than good. Is it fair for me to say that? I mean, after all, people probably thought the same thing when "Walk this Way" was mashed up. I'm sticking to my opinion..(FMQB)

Earlier this month, it was revealed that Velvet Revolver is working with Hip-Hop super-producer Pharrell Williams on material for their next album. Now the band says that they hope to stretch out and expand their sound on their sophomore effort, tentatively titled Libertide. Drummer Matt Sorum tells Rolling Stone, "The first one was definitely a rocking, punky, bashing record. We really want to make a deeper album this time. The other record was more of a collaboration -- now we want to see what everyone brings to the table on their own. It's cool when people come in with an idea without the usual collaborators, 'cause it can totally spark."

Sorum added that he and Duff McKagan have been "writing a lot of riffs on the road, messing around with all kinds of different grooves, listening to Prince, tripping on stuff." Frontman Scott Weiland says that, "We have about 50 songs. We have to whittle it down, record 20 and then pick about 16." Velvet Revolver hope to have a new single on the airwaves by the end of the summer.

Jack & Coke - Update

2006-04-18T13:10:00.000-04:00

Coke commercial featuring Jack White composition is now available.

Goths

2006-04-17T20:32:00.000-04:00

This study found a higher suicide and self-mutilation rate among teens belonging to the "gothic" subculture. But you didn't need this study to confirm your already morbid stereotypes. Also, remember that just because there is a higher incidence among this group, does not imply that all goths mutilate or kill themselves.

Their definition of goth (albeit quite hilarious):

Goth is a subgenre of punk culture characterized by "a dark and sinister aesthetic, with aficionados conspicuous by their range of distinctive clothing and makeup and tastes in music,"

Yeah, somehow aficionados has the wrong connotation for this context.

D.L. Roth Sucks Hard

2006-04-15T16:38:00.000-04:00

It appears that following Stern, radio's own rock star for the last two decades, is more difficult for the fast-talking Roth than staying on estranged bandmate Eddie Van Halen's Christmas card list.

Great quote. Terrible show.

I miss the original lineup of Van Halen. Sammy Hagar completely "pussified" the band. His only good songs were "Human's Being" and "Right Now". Other than that, he's pretty useless.

Beatles to Go Digital!

2006-04-13T10:16:00.000-04:00

If there's one thing people know about me, it's that I'm a Beatles maniac. So I was quite surprised when I read this morning that soon enough the Fab Four will offer their catalog to dowloading services. Though this move is a watershed event, I am somewhat disappointed. I always thought the Beatles music is too good for the download treatment. And because the Beatles pretty much invented the concept album, the music needs to be consumed as such, rather than single downloads. How can one fully grasp the themes running through Rubber Soul or Sgt. Pepper without listening in its entirety? And so now a whole new generation of fans will identify predominantly their hit songs and not the albums on which they appear.

Read the article.

Back in Black (sort of)

2006-04-11T23:05:00.000-04:00

My apologies for being MIA the past few weeks. Things have been quite busy as I'm gearing up to move into NYC. I didn't think anyone would care because my readership is so tiny to begin with anyway. But that's neither here nor there.

For all my Jewish readers, here is a festive slice of greatness. Follow the link.

Yupster, Yindie, Grup: Same Shit

2006-03-28T09:50:00.000-05:00

I caught this article in the New York Magazine yesterday. All about the phenomenon of yupsters and the refusal to accept adulthood.

Up With Grups

Quickies

2006-03-21T22:49:00.000-05:00

I'm too lazy to come up with any witty commentary on one particular story, so here are some interesting tidbits:

Jack White's new outfit, The Raconteurs, delight Liverpudlians. (NME)

Keane announces their upcoming follow-up to 2004's Hopes and Fears. The lead singer looks a bit like Teddy Ruxpin. (NME)

Ringo is back for his ninth installment of the All Starr Tour. Billy Squier is on tap to wield the axe. (Billboard)

June 14-15: Toronto (Casino Rama)
June 16: Detroit (Pine Knob)
June 17: Chicago (Rosemont Theatre)
June 23: Sacramento, Calif. (Cache Creek Casino)
June 24: Los Angeles (Gibson Amphitheatre)
June 25: Palm Springs, Calif. (Fantasy Springs Casino)
June 27: Livermore, Calif. (Wente Winery)
June 28: Temecula, Calif. (Pala Casino)
June 29: San Diego (Humphrey's By The Bay)
July 1: Las Vegas (The Beach at Mandalay Bay)
July 7: Tampa, Fla. (Ruth Eckard Hall)
July 8: Boca Raton, Fla. (Mizner Amphitheatre)
July 9: Melbourne, Fla. (King Center)
July 11: Baltimore (Lyric Opera House)
July 12: Easton, Penn (State Theatre)
July 14: Westbury, N.Y. (Westbury Music Fair)
July 15: Atlantic City, N.J. (Trump Casino)
July 16: Uncasville, Conn. (Mohegan Sun Arena)
July 18: Holmdel, N.J. (PNC Bank Arts Center)
July 19: Boston (Bank of America Pavilion)
July 20: New York (Radio City Music Hall)