superlertive: 10/01/2005

Out of 5

This site is dope. These guys set up a weekly thematic digital mixtape. The bonus is you can download the mp3's in a zip file.

Here's the link.

Enough Said

Smash My Ipod

If you've ever been frustrated by the iPod or the Apple corporation in general, this is the video for you. It's actually pretty funny stuff.

Two Classic Movie Characters Tarnished

Way to go Stallone. We know your movie career has come to a halt in recent years. He's pretty much hit rock bottom. But what better way up the ladder again than by using nostalgia. That's right, Rocky VI and Rambo IV have now been confirmed. These are two characters that don't need a movie comeback. "The $50 million film will pick up former Vietnam vet John Rambo as he's living a reclusive life back home in the United States. But when a girl goes missing, he is forced to abandon his quiet lifestyle and take justice into his own hands." Sounds like a pretty useless plotline to me. But then again, who am I to judge? (via CST)

Snow Patrol At Work

Snow Patrol is in the studio making progress on the followup to 2003's Final Straw. Snow Patrol has completed primary recording of eight songs for its next Interscope album, frontman Gary Lightbody wrote in a post on the band's Web site. The group had been recording in Scotland up to this point but studio sessions will continue next week in London. I got this story from Billboard, who thought it a good idea to change the format of their site. All they did was make the layout easier for advertisers to place their annoying multimedia ads. This does nothing but slow down my computer. It was the same thing with All Music Guide a couple years back.

Tomorrow

If you can't stand your co-worker, tomorrow is your day. Read on below...

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!!

Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't care about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:

* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day.

Guitar Dude

Check this shit out. You press letters on the keyboard and this guy plays insane licks. And the best part is that it spits out the tab to what he's playing. See for yourself (be sure to skip the intro).

Guitar Dude.

Springsteen Goes Sirius

Sirius radio is now putting up a Springsteen-only channel, solely devoted to his music.

"In addition to rarities from Springsteen and the E Street Band dating from early 1973, E Street Radio will also feature track-by-track album discussions, behind-the-scenes insights, and conversations with E Street Band members and others associated with Springsteen throughout his career."

That's great, but won't the channel eventually run out of his material. Oh well, live in the now. Once I get Sirius, I'll tune in.

(via FMQB)

Teenage Dose of Aryanism

I came across this article today and was completely blown away. These neo-Nazi parents are using their twin daughters to spread racism. Keep in mind the girls are only 13.

"Known as "Prussian Blue" — a nod to their German heritage and bright blue eyes — the girls from Bakersfield, Calif., have been performing songs about white nationalism before all-white crowds since they were nine.

"We're proud of being white, we want to keep being white," said Lynx. "We want our people to stay white … we don't want to just be, you know, a big muddle. We just want to preserve our race." (via ABC)

What's going to happen when these girls turn 16 and start hating their parents? I have my money on the irony of them dating black and Jewish guys.

Consider It Bought

Beavis and Butthead DVD set finally coming out. The Time Life B & B series doesn't count as it did not include any of the videos from the show. Which by the way is a travesty because that was always the best part. Released on Nov. 8. Go Here.

Apple Gets Another Class Action Suit

First Apple was sued over iPod's falsely advertised battery life. There was a settlement for that. Now, they are being sued again for the brittle iPod Nano.

"Consumers have filed a proposed class action lawsuit in San Jose, California, on Wednesday, claiming the Nano scratched "excessively during normal usage" and alleged Apple released the product knowing the problems and led consumers to believe it was durable -- forcing them to shoulder the cost of replacing defective music players."

It's easy to jump on the bandwagon and become an Apple-hater. Yet, I do believe that Apple should spend more time on R&D before releasing updated iPods. I mean at this rate we should expect 4 new iPod models each year. They just need to slow down; and shouldn't be worried because Apple already owns 75% of U.S. market share for mp3 players.

(via CNN)

E-Voting

We have enough problems with counting regular ballots, and now governement officials want to implement exclusive e-voting? Uhh. Well, the technology seems like it would make things easier, however, I am pretty skeptical about that. Involving computer voting technology would give new hackers a field day with fucking up election results. You would be giving them an awesome challenge. Better to keep the voting machines and use computers for tracking purposes.

Zod for President 2008

(via CNET)

I Want It That (Chinese) Way

Watch these guys synch up with the Backstreet Boys. Note the dumbass in the back playing video games.

Watch it!!

Insane Beards

If and when I can finally grow a full beard, I want it to look something like this. I will go all out and completely embarass myself. Go to this website to view all the contenders, and try not to shit yourself.

Tales From The Commute #3

Hey, you. Yeah you. The I-think-I'm-cool-because-I'm-on-the-cell-phone-person. It's enough already. No one cares about your super cool ringer that, contrary to what you believe, everyone has. Stop babbling to your friend about how you fucked your best friend's boyfriend or how many shots it took you to get there. Just let me get some rest before work. Oh, and learn some cell phone etiquette here and stop being an inconsiderate asshole.

Kneel Before Zod

Zod for President in 2008.

Rain Finally Clears Out

So after about a week plus, the rain in the northeast has finally abated. I'm happy to see the sun, but also looking forward to walking the streets without umbrella dodging. You know, those certain people who feel it necessary to carry monstrous golf umbrellas, making no room on the sidewalk for anyone else. Seriously, do you really need that much coverage from the rain? Stop being such a pussy and get a smaller umbrella you selfish ass.

Thug Administration

Stay outta their grill, or they will invade yo ass (sans Colin Powell)!

Doggie Condoms

I'll atone for the sin of posting this article at some point during Yom Kippur. I just couldn't help myself, because this is quite hilarious.

Dog Condom Creator Saddened Over Product Recall

NEW YORK (Wireless Flash) – The creator of a meat-scented dog condom had high hopes for his invention, until the pooch product was recalled.

Phillip Laxis, product developer for dogcondoms.com, admits, “I’m not going to lie to you. It’s a disappointment,” but says the extensive test market studies that resulted in 102 unwanted pooch pregnancies and 15 near- choking incidents justified the recall.

Surprisingly, Laxis thinks it’s the fault of the owners, who he envisioned would place the condom on the dog before intercourse and supervise the act.

In his words, “People were not anticipating the dogs’ needs. Create a doggy date situation where you can control it, a situation where no one gets hurt.”

While Laxis admits parental pooch supervision might not create the ideal romantic situation, he asks, “Do you see the romance in genital mutilation?”

The self-professed dog lover says he’s not giving up on safe sex for schnauzers, and is now working on a female dog condom using “some sort of harness mechanism.”

Via FlashNews)

New O.C. Soundtrack

So you hate the show, but love the music? You're in luck because the latest compilation from this garbage program is coming out November 8, via Warner Brothers. And don't let me catch you watching.

01 The Subways: "Rock & Roll Queen"
02 Kasabian: "Reason Is Treason"
03 Shout Out Louds: "Wish I Was Dead Pt. 2"
04 LCD Soundsystem: "Daft Punk Is Playing at My House"
05 Rogue Wave: "Publish My Love"
06 Youth Group: "Forever Young"
07 Of Montreal: "Requiem for O.M.M."
08 Gorillaz: "Kids With Guns"
09 Kaiser Chiefs: "Na Na Na Na Naaa"
10 Stars: "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead"
11 Phantom Planet: "California 2005 (Whistling)"
12 Imogen Heap: "Hide and Seek"

(via Pitchfork)

Material Dumbass

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Kaballah is not a religion you material bitch. Looks like Madonna is finally getting some flak from the Jewish population. Ignorance is bliss. "Such a woman brings great sin on Kabbalah." Not to mention sin to Jews around the world. And although I don't much subscribe to Kaballah, I feel that you can't just embrace this piece of Judaism and go about being ignorant about the whole religion. (via FMQB)

Muppet Pioneer Dies

Muppet pioneer Jerry Juhl has died. SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- Jerry Juhl, who was the head writer for "The Muppet Show" before he co-created "Fraggle Rock," has died. He was 67. Juhl, who died at a San Francisco hospital on September 27, became the first full-time employee of Jim Henson Co. in 1961 after meeting Henson at a puppeteer's convention. The company coined the term "Muppet," a combination of the words marionette and puppet, and created a series of short skits parodying television newspeople. Juhl worked on Henson's first television show, "Sam and Friends," as a puppeteer and later spent six years writing for "Sesame Street" after its 1969 premiere. He created scripts for the Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird, Elmo, Bert, Ernie and The Count. He also created Super Grover, a superhero version of Grover, and received two Emmy Awards for his work. Juhl served as head writer for "The Muppet Show" from 1977-1981. He also was the writer and creative producer of "Fraggle Rock," which featured his wife as a writer and script editor. The show was met with critical acclaim when it appeared on HBO in 1983 and lasted four years. (via CNN)

Cheap Celebs

I had to do a double take when I saw this today. These asshole celebs don't have the decency to tip their waiters/waitresses. Sean Penn - $450.00 / $0.00 "Sean Penn is in New Orleans filming & came into my restaurant with 3 other people. Waited on them hand and foot. The bill $450.00 - the tip: none. Cheapskate." Uhh, I'm sorry Mr. Spicoli you can't come in here. If you read the sign carefully, it says "no shirt, no shoes, no service." Didn't you learn anything during Mr. Hand's class. Dick. See more outrageousness at Cityrag.

Kermit Turns 50

Maybe Miss Piggy will finally give him some deep lovin'.

"Kermit, of course, used to be the alter ego of Muppets founder Jim Henson, who created the felt frog from the fabric of his mother's coat when he was a teenager."

I think the "Rainbow Connection" is in everyone's memory bank from a young age. That song still gets the attention it deserves. Thanks man.

(via CNN)

Frank Black Talks on Pixies

In jest, Frank Black told MTV that the group's first album in 14 years would be released once he and Kim Deal had another fight. To hold fans over until that date, fans can pick up the band's first concert DVD.

"In the meantime, this week the group released Pixies Sell Out, its first concert DVD. Most of the footage was taken from a show in Belfort, France, on July 3 of last year, although there are also bonus songs from seven other 2004 shows, including Austin City Limits, New Orleans' Voodoo Music Festival, Japan's Fuji Rock Festival, England's Move Festival and Scotland's T in the Park."

Well Deserved Rant

Rosh Hashanah is coming to a close, and my stomach has never been more full. While digesting all this food and surfing the net a few minutes ago, I found out that Katie Holmes is pregnant with Tom's demon seed. Now normally I don't report this kind of trash, but I felt the need to assert my opinion on the matter. Is it chic now for all these celebrities to get knocked up? I'm not of the belief that this move is helping their careers. In fact, just the opposite. All these gossip-column-readers want to fantasize about these girls, not watch some scientology (the word does not deserve initial caps because it's a cult) freakazoid impregnate them.

Watch Dane Cook's impression of Cruise on Oprah.

Happy New Year

In the spirit of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, here is a bit of juvenile humor. Take it or leave it my friends.

Shofar Idol

And now a word from the President:

THE WHITE HOUSE

Office of the Press Secretary

________________________________________________________________

For Immediate Release September 29, 2005

Rosh Hashanah, 5766

I send greetings to all those observing Rosh Hashanah.

On this holy occasion, Jews around the world are called by the sound
of the Shofar to gather in celebration of the beginning of the New
Year and the creation of all life. For the Jewish people, this marks
the beginning of the Days of Awe, a special time to reflect on the
past year and welcome the year to come.

It is also a time to reflect on the history of the Jewish people, from
the days of Abraham to the present, and remember God's faithfulness to
them. This year, we mark the completion of an especially joyous
occasion, the 350th year of Jewish life in America. Throughout
America's history, Jewish Americans have strengthened and enriched the
character of our Nation.

Laura and I send our best wishes for a blessed Rosh Hashanah. L'shanah tovah.

GEORGE W. BUSH

Nirvana's Pete Best

Not many people know that Chad Channing was one of the original drummers in Nirvana. He is that band's Pete Best, leaving just before the height of their popularity. In this Rolling Stone article, he talks up his new music and talks about being in Nirvana. His new project is called Before Cars, and will also be produced by Bleach boardman Jack Endino.

"Although not Nirvana's original drummer, Channing was the first to appear on record with the band during their Sub Pop Records glory years. Along with guitarist-vocalist Kurt Cobain and bassist Krist Novoselic, he played on the group's first-ever release, 1988's "Love Buzz/Big Cheese" single, as well as Bleach and the 1990 EP Blew."